Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
