how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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