I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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