does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
