we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
