She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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