just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I seem to have left my pride at pride
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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