We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
