Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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