You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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