fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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