I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
