My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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