i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
