I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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