u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
