im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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