Your tits are I can't wait for
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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