i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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