I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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