we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Drunk is not a location!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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