I'm jealous of your bromance
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
