Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
