Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
