FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
