Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
