I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
