"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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