He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
