Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
