you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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