Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
