i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am one with the molecules
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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