i was born a porn star she said
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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