And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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