Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
