it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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