why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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