We got so high we made milksteak
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She bit a glass in half.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
