I'm lost and stupid without you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
