Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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