Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
