Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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