you would pick up someone in the library
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
