shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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