we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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