I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
