The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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