Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
