i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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