the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
