i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
