Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
