I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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