you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i out mim tonsoeep
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