When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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